10

GAY PEOPLE'S CHRONICLE PRIDE GUIDE 1994

A Community of Pride-amazing things happen

by Brynna Fish

Last winter as I was planning a business trip to Denver, Colorado, I mused about the anti-gay initiative which was in full swing. I was fully aware of the boycott but I did not hesitate for a moment about the trip. There was no question I would go. The question was what would I do about it? Two very important people in my life wanted to know.

The synagogue where I teach music was sending me to a conference for Professional Jewish Education and the Arts. A few days before the trip my Rabbi stopped me in the school office. "So, what are you going to do?" I could tell by the tone of his voice he was referring to the boycott. "I'm going to wear a T-shirt that says 'Warning: Another lesbian has just entered the state of Colorado'."

Just a few years earlier, when I was tuning my guitar before a class, the Rabbi popped in. He told me he wanted me to know that I could come talk to him about anything if ever I needed to. That's when I knew he knew. It was scary for 10 seconds and then it felt great! Finally, I could be a whole person with my Rabbi and the school where I teach. All those years of wearing pink triangles on my jacket finally paid off. It set the tone for a more open honest relationship with a part of my community. And, it opened the doors to later talk about the Colorado boycott.

My son, on the other hand, was not convinced I should have such a T-shirt made.

The day before my trip, a friend taking care of my animals came over to get the keys. Aghast when she discovered I was in fact going to Colorado I told her about my T-shirt idea. “No, Mom!" my son hollered— "Just don't tell them you're a lesbian!"

Eight years old and wise enough from overhearing the news and conversations to worry about what might happen to his mom,

the lesbian, going to a place trying to ban our existence.

In the end, I didn't get a T-shirt. When the plane landed, I retrieved my rental car, made a few phone calls and got directions to the women's bookstore. There I found a wealth of information about the boycott, the anti-gay initiatives and had a great conversation with the cashier. From what I could tell, the gay and lesbian community in Denver did not support the boycott. They wanted high lesbian-gay visibility. They got mine.

At the conference, over the course of three days, college campus setting, marathon workshops, amazing things happened.

First, my straight roommate for the weekend brought up the anti-gay initiative at one of our first sessions-asking the group to make a proclamation to advocate against the initiative. She reminded us that as Jews, we have known oppression, and worse, annihilation, and that it is our duty to work for the civil rights of all. Not bad, I thought— albeit quietly to myself.

That didn't last long. A woman from New York, early-fiftyish, tall, striking, salt and pepper hair, casually asked me between workshops if I could recommend any women's music festivals to her. I was stunned. Usually, it's me who asks the outrageous first. And, I was not wearing any buttons... yet. Turns out it was her very first coming out!

On the second night I wore my freedom ring necklace. A woman standing behind me in the dinner line commented on how beautiful they were and asked if they had any meaning. Yes, I explained. She wasn't shocked. She didn't fall over. And I think it may have had something to do with another woman who later came over and confided in me about her lesbian daughter. This woman was worried about her Jewish lesbian daughter who'd just moved to Boston. She wanted

Health Issues Taskforce

OF CLE·V•E•L·A·N.D

presents an event-filled summer!

HIT THE BOAT

Sat., June 18, 7:00 to 11:00 p.m.

A starlight celebration with dinner, drinks, and live entertainment aboard the S.S. William G. Mather to recognize ten years of providing AIDS services. Reservations are requested.

DANCIN' IN THE STREETS

DIAMOND ANNIVERSARY Sun., July 17 at West 9th Street Join us for the best and biggest yet!

to be able to recommend some lesbian groups, places, people to her daughter so she wouldn't feel so isolated in a new place. Wouldn't we all like mothers like this?

I could have stayed in the closet. I could have masked a part of me which is part of my essence, my heart, mind, body, spirit. And, then, not only would I have been less than whole, I would have kept myself cut off from a part of my community that embraces me. I would have never known.

On the phone the other day, talking to a gentleman who called me about Pride, he asked me how many ways there are to spell "closet"... just one, I answered, f-e-a-r. Fear I might lose my job, my family, my friends, my children, my community.

I have been "out" for some time. I'm not exactly sure how long-it's a process. We're all at different places. This past Fall, when Chevrei Tikva, the gay-lesbian synagogue, celebrated its 10th Anniversary, there was a great write-up in Cleveland Jewish News. Many of us reflected that ten years ago none of us involved were “out." We only listed our phone number, never names or addresses. We listed the Chevrei Tikva phone line in the name of my roommate.

Now, ten years later, the CT newsletter includes first, and some last, names. Chevrei Tikva is listed in the synagogue listings of the Cleveland Jewish News with full disclosure about our services, location, times, and dates. And, now, some of us would be interviewed and photographed for our 10th anniversary story. I was among those willing to be included.

The day after the paper came out (so to speak), I walked into Temple rather sheepishly. I was waiting for a bomb to explode. Nobody said a word. I was sure people, parents, kids, were looking at me differently. I was a paranoid mess!

Finally, a mother approached. I could tell by her determined body language that she was coming toward me to let me have it about the article. I took a deep breath. I felt my knees get weak. She gently grabbed both my shoulders and squeezed and shook her head up and down, and after a few very long moments she said, "That was a great article, that's very special, it's great you did that." I'll never forget that. And, I would have never known.

In the sixth grade I was roughed up in the bathroom of the Jewish Community Center by two of my "best friends." Out of the blue, they turned on me, calling me "lezzie" and "homo" and swearing they would do the same to Bonnie too, ifI wasn't careful. I was shaken pretty bad. I never told a soul.

It's true, I was in love with Bonnie. But as far as I knew Bonnie didn't know and neither did anyone else. After that incident my friendship with Cindy and Wendy faded. We all went our own ways.

After college graduation in 1979, I ran into Bonnie and we went out for a drink. I came out to her and asked her if she had any idea I was in love with her. Clueless, she was clueless.

A year later, a friend asked me to play guitar at the Tenth Muse Coffeehouse in Kent. (And, there's another great story about that-but I'll stick to Pride.) So, I'm playing my guitar and looking around and I can't believe my eyes. In walks WendyWendy of "beat me up in the bathroom in sixth grade." Ends up she's president of the KSU lesbian-gay student group. Takes one to know one.

Fast forward to 1986. I'm at the Michigan Womyn's Music Festival and I'm volunteering at the front gate. A car pulls up. A woman sticks out her arm for me to put on the admission bracelet. As I'm bending down to snap the thing on I look at her and it's Cindy-as in "beat me up in the bathroom in sixth grade"! What goes around comes around.

Now, I realize I could have stayed closeted and discovered Wendy and Cindybut it's unlikely I would have participated in those activities had I stayed in the closet. What fascinates me about this story is that I find, even today, those who are hostile, ambivalent, or uneasy about my lesbianism, usually have their own deep personal questions. And, that too, is another story.

Now to 1991. The day after Pride. I'm in my front yard and the son of the woman next door is doing yard work and shouts over to me something about Sue Fink and a great Pride celebration. I look twice. I would have never known. His mother, my neighbor, and I had already struck up a great neighborly friendship but now it instantaneously grew deeper.

Who knew then, that a few years later I would be sitting in church with his mother, family, many friends and colleagues, at a memorial service honoring his life. Honoring life, struggling with death and surrendering Jeffrey Wobbecke to AIDS.

Jeff got involved with Pride '94 right from the start. He didn't miss a meeting until AIDS made him too weak. He was active in the North Coast Men's Chorus, had a rainbow bumper sticker on his car, and had recently showed me his latest bumper sticker... a rainbow with the words CELEBRATE DIVERSITY printed on it. He had Pride!

My community is where I live, where I work, where I visit my friends and family. It is the synagogues to which I belong, the organizations I wish to support, the cultural, social and civic events I wish to attend. I would not know, really know, my community had I not taken the chance to be me, just to be myself. I'm proud of my Rabbi, my son, my neighbor, my employer, my family, my friends, and my community.

On behalf of Pride '94, A Community of Pride, I invite you to take part. So many doors will open for you. The more people who come to Pride-gay, lesbian, bisexual, straight, transgender, transvestite, jocks, drag queens, sisters, brothers, friends, family, lovers, colleagues, neighborsthe closer we will all be to spelling closet: P-R-I-D-E.

CLEVELAND AIDS WALK

"STEP IN THE RIGHT DIRECTION" Sun., Sept. 25

To walk, volunteer, or for

more information, please call

the Walk hotline at 622.7788.

As of May 19, 1993, Health Issues Taskforce will be AIDS Taskforce of Greater Cleveland

216.621.0766

ALA G.L.

Amigos (as) Latinoamericanos (as) de Gays y Lesbianas

"An informative support group to discuss different social issues that concern Lesbians and Gays Latinas/Latinos."

ALA G.L. meets at the Center every first and third Saturday of each month at 3 pm. For more information call 522-1999 & ask for Adan Chinchilla.